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HOLY SHIT!!! Who the fuck writes the miller light commercials? Whoever it is, they should be beat with a softball bat while slowly being molested. Honestly, who the fuck thinks of this shit, a fucking freshman in high school? How in the world do they think society will find a beer commercial funny when they talk about text-messaging talk, or when a guy wears skinny emo-faggot jeans. Or how about when they wear clothes with dragons on them on a guy wearing a thong. I mean there all the exact same concept and if the first one sucked ass, you have to know the next 4 are going to be shitty, and sure enough the following commercials are beyond horrible. But what do you expect when you advertise for a beer that taste so shitty? I mean what do they brew that with? For fuck sakes it tastes like motor oil. Those commercials really resemble the way that beer tastes. Fucking awful. Oh, and a couple more things. One, that vortex pour in your bottles, doesn't do shit. If they do anything, they make your beer taste shittier. Two, nobody in the right mind goes up to a bar and asks for a "light beer." If you do, you can just go ahead and fuck right off for all I care. So miller, please stop making such miserable commercials, you are hurting your business. But I guess its a little tough to compete with Anheuser because they make such awesome commercials and they beer doesn't taste like gasoline and the keystone guy is fucking awesome to because hes a hoosier living the American dream. 

Well, It's time to fuck off. 

Shitty weather

Fuck rain. Its depressing and it ruins a lot of fun.

A nice haircut

Dykes. In every sense of the world. 

Barber - "What kind of haircut do you want?"

Dyke - "Uh.... I think ill take the dyke-mullet trim today. Thanks"

Dis functional family

If you watch TV and flip through the channels a lot, I am sure that you have seen Paul "Senior" Teutul Sr. on TV. You know, that asshole lookin piece of shit that has a white handlebar mustache and wears stupid ass sunglasses indoors. I mean if thats not one of my biggest pet peeves I don't know what is. The sunglasses don't do much when your indoors because you can't see the fucking sun jackass. I mean your such an asshole that you are taking your fucking son to court for over 1.5 million dollars, you have no contact with any of your children as of now, and just married a younger women that probably only puts up with you because you have a lot of money. Your fucking tuxedo didn't even have sleeves on it you hoosier piece of shit. Thats another thing, nobody cares to see all your tattoos so start wearing shirts that consists of two full sleeves on them. The concept of your show is so fucking stupid it makes me pissed off every time I see something about your show. You design motorcycles, sweet pussy. You actually don't do shit, you sit on your fat ass in your office and bitch at everybody. I wish your show was entertaining because it is on so fucking much. Here is a picture of this crazy asshole. 

Don't give me the "Peace Sign" you fuckin dildo. Nice orange county choppers graffic tee too cocksucker.

Extreme Makeover Home Edition

If you ever watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition you know that it gets addicting to watch. They build the coolest houses in like a week and put a bunch of cool ass shit in it. The only downfall to this show is if you watch the whole show, you really get in to it and by the end of the show, you want to start crying or your even tearing up. Why do they always have to pick people that are really sick and dying or have a lot of problems? I mean I understand why they do that but why can't the mix it up a little bit? Why can't they just pick a middle class family that just wants a sick house? This would be a good idea so we don't have to tear up at the end of every episode, we can just be jealous. And whats with Ty (the main guy)? How many lines of coke does he do per episode?Holy shit he is wired up and flying all over the place. That hand held video camera he runs around with isn't going to protect him from a wrecking ball flying through the kitchen. I heard that if you watch closely you can see Ty touching the little kids inappropriately and when the cameras are off, he makes his move. I got a new idea for this show. How bout they give a homeless guy that is addicted to meth a new house and see how he lives within the first week. They build him a house and put all his favorite shit in there and then see how quickly it is ruined. I think a lot of people would love to see that house burn down and that shit-bum back on the street. If you wouldn't watch that episode your a fuckin nut job.

Here is Ty, coked out saying, "I need some more fuckin hair gel! Oh, and move that fucking bus!"

Random Dickhead

Simon Cowell! Come on down and receive your award for being the biggest, most worthless asshole of the 2000's! I have a couple things to ask you Simon, what the fuck are your credentials? Honestly you are one of the luckiest morons I have ever seen. You dropped out of high school at age 16 and you were reported making over 75 million dollars in 2007 for telling people they were good performers, or dog shit performers. How the fuck do you know what talent is? I know your barber doesn't have dick for talent because he gives you a fucking flat-top every time you ask for trim. And the last question, how the fuck were you named in the top 100 most influential people of Time magazine in the artist category? You always use the line, "I have to be brutally honest." Well Simon, I have to be brutally honest, your an English piece of shit. Try saying something nice for once, it might change peoples perception about you.

Here is Cowell as he's probably saying, "And one more thing, I have a mild case of hemroids so lets make this quick."

Weekend News/Quotes

Male Jort Count: at least 23 pairs in the past 5 days.

Aldag - "I'd read the bible more if it made sense"

Jackie - "Why do you keep looking over there?"
Aldag - "Cause they are grandma lesbians"

Aldag - "That girl likes me for some reason, I don't get it."

Pete Cero - "When I was younger, I started the dying hair trend. I sware".