Random Dickhead

Simon Cowell! Come on down and receive your award for being the biggest, most worthless asshole of the 2000's! I have a couple things to ask you Simon, what the fuck are your credentials? Honestly you are one of the luckiest morons I have ever seen. You dropped out of high school at age 16 and you were reported making over 75 million dollars in 2007 for telling people they were good performers, or dog shit performers. How the fuck do you know what talent is? I know your barber doesn't have dick for talent because he gives you a fucking flat-top every time you ask for trim. And the last question, how the fuck were you named in the top 100 most influential people of Time magazine in the artist category? You always use the line, "I have to be brutally honest." Well Simon, I have to be brutally honest, your an English piece of shit. Try saying something nice for once, it might change peoples perception about you.

Here is Cowell as he's probably saying, "And one more thing, I have a mild case of hemroids so lets make this quick."