First week of class

With the first week of the first semester coming to an end, I have realized that one thing is truly important on the first week: First Impressions. When I say first impressions, I am not talking about being really nice to me or something, although that is fine as well. But for every student in a class, they want to really get a feel for the class and the people in that class. With this being my 7th semester in college, I have realized what and how students act and how they should act. Being a tolerable student is not hard but yet, there are still kids that just have no idea on how to act in a social situation. I guess their 12+ years of previous schooling still has not taught them anything.

I will start with freshman, since I was once, I find it hypocritical to be a dick to them but there are some things they need to know. First off, lose the lanyard. Do not have it around your neck or hanging out of your pocket, whether it is campus issued or not. The key is to blend in and having that long ass thing hanging out of your cargo shorts is not a good start. Also, do not call your dorm your house. A house has different rooms, a kitchen, etc. Your dorm room is four off-white walls with boogers all of the place.

The rest of the advice I have is for students of all ages.

The main thing that really bothers me is how many people have no idea what hygiene is. Before class, especially the first week, do everybody a favor a take a shower and brush your teeth. Nobody likes sitting next to a kid that smells like shit. Also, kids that smoke, do not do it before class and then sit down next to anyone. It drives people insane and it is not something you can hide. If you have to smoke before class or leave during class to have a smoke, which is pathetic in itself, bring a fresh shirt or sit in the front by yourself because nobody gives a fuck what you have to say when you smell like Camels.

Do not raise your hand in class and ask over 2 questions on the first week, the class develops as the semester goes on dumb fuck and as assignments pop up, then ask questions. If you are one of these kids, which there are plenty (Read kids that sit by you in class pt. 3), then fuck off because you have obviously survived 12+ years of schooling and this is no different.

Do not ride your bike in the middle of the street throughout campus. Cars are actually trying to get places, there are sidewalks for you morons and if you are the sidewalk, ride around people, not right next to them and nearly clip them. For you assholes that ride longboards or skateboards, actually know how to ride one. I see so many kids that can barely push off and glide on a board and they not only embarrass themselves, but basically the whole community because we are not in California and we are not about to hit the waves. We live in the midwest, not San Francisco.

Things that girls should wear on the first day is shorts, yoga pants, hats with a curved bill over their eyes, and t-shirts, if they have to wear dresses because of sorority shit, whatever thats fine. But for no reason girls should ever wear flat-bills, high heels, a bunch of jewelry, and/or high-tops. Nobody has ever said, "I have this girl in my finance class with yellow high-top nikes and a backwards-sideways Miami Marlins flat-bill, she is so hot," or "Wow, that chick with the neon green hat that says "Panama 2012, Meatball and Yolo is somebody I want to settle down with." First off, you live in Missouri, cheer for your home team, not a team that you cannot name more than 2 players on it that will never make the playoffs. Just stick to the basics ladies, if you are truly good looking, you do not need 3 pounds of make-up, hair spray, high heels, etc because if you wear that, you are trying a little to hard to impress your fellow losers.

Things that guys should wear is just shorts and a t-shirt (no collar). Why oh why do I see guys with earrings, cut-off sleeves, khaki pants, multi-colored shorts with button downs, sperrys, earrings, tank tops, sideways flat bills etc? It is class, not a fucking party! They are literally the complete opposite. Have a backbone and don't dress like every other guy on TFM or a trailer park. Guys, gelling your hair before class doesn't make you impressive, it makes you the bud of peoples jokes. If you are trying that hard to impress people in your class, you are doing it wrong. Also fellas, do not wear the same thing everyday to class, people notice and then they begin to wonder, is he wearing this because a girl actually talked to him last time he wore this or does this kid actually think he looks good in this outfit? It is just a lose-lose for you. Also, those multi-colored sunglass you guys wear, are not cool. Plain and simple. By no means should any male ever put on white sunglasses. That is a disaster waiting to happen. And the last thing, if you have one of those protein shakers, once you leave the gym, put it in your fucking book bag. You are screaming for attention walking around campus with one of those things in your hand. People do not think to themselves, "Woah, that kid with the cut-off sleeve shirt and tooth pick arms is probably so strong because he is drinking protein."

To recap, ride your bike away from people, do not be a kiss-ass to the teacher and ask a bunch of questions on the first week. Guys and girls, wear shorts and a t-shirt, it is more impressive when you do not try to hard. Freshman, blend-in. It is not hard people, take a shower before class and brush your teeth. People always remember the smelly bastards and do not walk around with a shaker

Everybody knows someone with a hat like this. Don't even wear it as a joke.

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