Kids that sit by you in class

Who likes sitting next to your friends in class? I know I do. Who likes sitting next to a good looking girl/guy in class? Sure, why the fuck not. Who likes sitting next to the smelliest kid at the school? Fuck no. Are you kidding me? I am trying to learn, not survive. Today, in both my classes, I lucked out and the 2 smelliest fuckers here sat right in front of me. The first kid that sat in front of me uses bleach with cigarette ash and pollen as his laundry detergent. I guess it was on sale at the family dollar. I can tell that he has at least 2 Marlboro's on the way to class.As I struggled for the next hour and 15 minutes, class finally ended and I got to go outside I walked to my next class sucking in the fresh air that I thought didn't exist anymore. As I sat down in my next class I was so glad that the worst was over. Well, I was wrong. My friend and I watch helplessly as this big smelly bastard sat down right in front of us. The back of his shirt was full of sweat and it actually was in the design of a face. He put his books down and sat down. His rat tail and messy haircut stared at us. Although that was hilarious, he smelt like a bag of shit. He honestly smelt like he just played hockey, rolled around in monkey shit, then walked through 100 degree heat to get to class. He had to know he smelt like a fart. But, I am so damn proud of these kids for winning smelliest fucker of 2011.